Promises Kept

 The Children of Israel would always point to the parting of the Red Sea as the unmistakable display of God's power and protection. I have a time in my life that I point to as God speaking directly to me.

It occurred when Dave and I had been married for over four years and were wanting to start a family. We'd been trying for a few months with no luck, and the difficulties my mom had getting pregnant made me concerned I might have trouble as well.

Dave and I had been mentoring a boy through Youth Horizons, and he was in the process of getting out of foster care and becoming available for adoption. Was it God's plan for us to adopt him?

I had started reading through the Bible that year and came to Abraham's story in Genesis. Childless, he was asking God if his servant Eliezer would be the one to inherit his estate. God's answer to him came straight to me:
"This man will not be your heir, but a son coming from your own body will be your heir." Gen. 15:4.
I copied the verse on the dated page in my planner.

The boy was adopted by another family.

A couple of months later I'd worked my way to the book of Numbers. Moses sent 12 spies to check out Canaan, the promised land. When they returned, only two, Joshua and Caleb, expressed confidence that God would fight for them and give them the land. The Lord's anger burned against the 10 spies who were afraid, and He declared that none of them would ever see the promised land. 

Numbers 14:24 leaped out at me. "But because my servant Caleb has a different spirit and follows me wholeheartedly, I will bring him into the land he went to, and his descendants will inherit it."

When I went to Colombia in 1988, one of the missionary couples had a cute little baby named Caleb. I'd liked the name ever since. "Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a boy named Caleb who follows God wholeheartedly?" I thought with longing.

A few weeks later I learned I was pregnant, and already had been when I'd read the verse. We named him Caleb. My prayer has always been that he would follow God wholeheartedly. 

And I also prayed to be the kind of mom who had the wisdom, patience, and love to direct a child on that journey. And I prayed that I could follow wholeheartedly as well. 

Caleb, four days old

I used my PageMaker computer program to print out Numbers 14:24 and framed it for his room.

As a six-year-old Caleb made a decision to ask Jesus into his heart the same night his four-year-old brother Harrison did. 

It's a sign- Caleb Harrison CHRISTIANS January 22, 2002

But as the years went by it seemed Caleb was making more and more choices on his own, and I began to despair that he would ever follow God wholeheartedly. With 20/20 hindsight, I saw mistakes I'd made as a mom. I even began to wonder if I'd heard correctly all those years ago. 

On December 7, 2017 (when Caleb was 21) I was reading the beautiful Christmas story of Mary and Elizabeth meeting while both were pregnant and Luke 1:45 jumped out at me. Elizabeth says of Mary's faith, "Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished."  

I remembered the promise I'd felt God made to me while I was pregnant with my firstborn son. I wrote in my prayer journal, "I am believing that the rest will be accomplished. Help my unbelief."

A few months later Caleb and his new girlfriend, June, stopped by after they'd eaten at Carriage Crossing by Yoder. In the little gift shop, he'd bought a sign that somehow had made him think of me. "God Keeps His Promises." 

Caleb Franklin and June Baldessari after hunting Easter eggs and saying "goodbye" to Grandpa Epp for the last time. 2018. 

I looked at Caleb and the sign, wondering exactly what it meant to him. The cynical side of me thought that maybe Caleb could help God out a little bit by making better choices. The spiritual side of me sensed that whether Caleb was conscious of it or not, he was hand-delivering to me confirmation from God that He indeed would keep His promise.

Caleb and June got married and had Rose (not in that order). Little brother Wesley soon followed. I've seen Caleb choose his wife and family over himself. I've seen him working hard to support his family. I've seen him making increasingly good choices. 

Caleb and Rose on her first day of kindergarten

But serving God wholeheartedly? Not yet. 

To be fair, I don't serve God wholeheartedly either. I want to. That is the desire of my heart, most days. That is the direction I would love for my life to point.

Last year, I was reading through the Old Testament again and thinking about how the Children of Israel had to wait 40 years to enter the Promised Land. At 4:30 a.m. on May 2, 2023, I felt like God said 40 years for Caleb. I almost didn't want to commit that to the paper in my prayer journal. "I want it now," I thought. "He's only 27. I don't want to wait 13 more years!"

A dozen years doesn't seem as long as it used to though. Even when I hear the stories of waiting 40 years, it doesn't have the interminable quality that it had when I was in Sunday School. I am reminded of one of my favorite songs that our friend Earnest Alexander sings, "You Can't Hurry God."

The chorus says:

"You can't hurry my God, no, no, no, you just have to wait. You gotta trust the Lord and give Him time, No matter how long it may take. He's a God you can't hurry, He'll be there, you don't have to worry. Oh He may not come when you want Him, But He's right on time." 

So, I am trusting in God's promises and praying that I can serve Him wholeheartedly as I wait.