Graduation

I'm pretty sure Nora would say to share this (see my previous blog). So here's my most embarrassing moment. After all, it's my banana peel.

I was nearly finished with my valedictory speech. It was the crowning moment I'd had in my sights for four years. I was talking about changes, comparing my and my fellow 1987 Hillsboro High School classmates' development with world events (the first man walked on the moon when we were learning to walk, etc.) and I got to my point, that although our world had gone through many changes in the past 18 years, God never changes. I quoted Malachi 3:6, which says, "God never changes." Only, it's sort of a tongue twister and it slipped out "Malachi  three SEX."
Horrified, I stopped. Then automatically corrected myself, "Three SIX."
I'd done enough playacting to know that after delivering a punch line you need to wait for the audience's laughter to subside before going on. However, working with a script where I knew the jokes were written didn't adequately prepare me for this major gaffe mid-sentence. So I corrected myself and rushed on.
Unwittingly, I had followed our high school science teacher's tongue-in-cheek humor. When students were bored or inattentive, P.J. Jantzen would say, "Human waste!" or "Human reproduction!" to get a laugh, because, he said, that's the two topics that all jokes were about. P.J. never got much more than rolled eyes in response to his joke.
I however, was getting a different reaction. When I first said, "SEX," students snickered. Then they whispered to their neighbors who hadn't been paying attention or who hadn't been able to catch my words on the gymnasium's PA system. The snickering in the chairs on the floor turned to outright laughter, and flowed up both sides of the bleachers.
I didn't have the poise, or the benefit of 23 years of hindsight to stop and say, "Whoops! That was a Freudian slip!" and let the laughter roll.
I'm pretty sure no one in attendance suspected me of having personal experience with the topic of my blunder, but surely my embarrassed response would have removed any lingering doubt.

So I slogged through the remaining four lines of my speech, urging everyone, whether they were listening or not, to trust in God as we faced the many changes to come.
Looking at the Commencement program (which I have saved in my "Seniors" scrapbook), I see the mixed chorus sang "Come Follow Me" after my speech. I'm sure I was up there, but I have no recollection.