A Tale of Two Birthdays

My alarm clock woke me at 5:45 a.m. I was tempted to turn it off and burrow back under my comforter in my air-conditioned bedroom. It's so hard to run by myself, I thought. For the past six years my long-time friend Kristen and I had been meeting three times each week for six-mile morning runs. Knowing that she would be waiting for me on her porch each Monday and Tuesday (or showing up on mine, if it was a Thursday) made it so much easier to propel myself out of bed. 

But her schedule had changed. Meeting for our regular runs no longer worked. I guess I'm on my own, I thought. 

I threw back the comforter, walked down the short flight of steps to the kitchen and started my coffee maker. As the coffee was brewing, I opened the front door to feel the air. As I suspected--hot and humid, feeling much more like August than the September morning it was. I always have beautiful weather on my birthday, what's the deal? I thought. The cool front in the forecast last night hadn't arrived yet. I grabbed a tank top and running shorts from my drawer in the bathroom, laced up my Hokas and headed out the door.

In the humidity, I quickly worked up a sweat as I ran through Benjamin Hills and headed to the river. I remembered shopping with Laurel for dresses last night. I'd hoped to find something fun to wear to the concert tonight but hadn't had much luck. I'd gotten an inexpensive knit skirt, but I wasn't happy with the tummy bulge it showed. Even with my running, an extra ten pounds had creeped on. I need to go on a diet, I thought. Maybe some of the extra weight is due to the fibroids. My hysterectomy is set for November 14. Getting rid of my uterus and the accompanying fibroids will get rid of a few pounds, and maybe even the tummy bulge. 

The doctor said I should plan on about two weeks of down time, so I decided I would get our business set up on QuickBooks during my recovery. We really needed our information in a computer program, and our friend Dave from No Worry Lawn Care said they used QuickBooks. I hope it doesn't have a long learning curve, I hate not knowing how to do things.

By the time I got back home from my run, Dave and Caleb were waiting for me to get mowing. It might have been nice to have my birthday off, I thought. No such luck. I quickly changed my shoes, and we all got in the truck. As I was mowing the back yard of the third house on our route, I felt the wind pick up and the temperature drop about 20 degrees. The cool front, finally! Too bad it didn't come before my run.

Since it was Wednesday and my birthday, we stopped at Great Wall, which is near where we were mowing around noon. I had my usual, cashew chicken. I tried to only eat half and save some for another time, but it was hard because it was so good. Later I regretted eating so much, because our next lawn had a lot of branches down, and I had to bend down and pick them up.

After work, I spent some time going through invoices, marking off the ones that had been paid. Then it was time to shower and get ready. Before Laurel and I left, I had Dave take some photos of us by the tree on the front lawn. He did his signature tilted shot (which drives me crazy), but some others were regular vertical and horizonal and might have been okay if my tummy bulge wasn't showing on every single one. I didn't think I would be posting them to Facebook. 

Dave's signature tilted photo.

For dinner, Laurel drove us to Larkspur Bistro and Bar. At 14, Laurel had her learner's permit, so she was trying to get hours behind the wheel whenever she could. Really, her in-town driving was fine. What she still needed was highway miles. I wanted Dave to be the one for that job since he was always critiquing my driving (he reminded me of my driver's ed teacher), but it never seemed convenient for him to teach her.

We arrived at the restaurant in plenty of time. If I'd have known Larkspur was in the plans I wouldn't have agreed to the Great Wall for lunch, I thought. Oh well, we can split an entree. That will help on the bill, too. 

It didn't take us too long to choose our pasta dish, so after ordering I proposed we take a selfie (I was pretty sure we didn't have any good photos from our previous session). Laurel, as a new iPhone owner, insisted we use her phone with the superior selfie cam. She also wanted to be the one to hold the phone. Fine. I requested that she use my Samsung too, so I would have the photo (in case she forgot to send it to me, which often happened) and so I could see why she thought hers was better. 

Selfie No. 1, I think from my Samsung

Selfie No. 2, I think from Laurel's iPhone

The concert we were headed to was the Eli Young Band. We hadn't remembered to call ahead for a reserved table, so our tickets were general admission. I didn't feel like standing in my cowboy boots for the entire night. That's why I was so glad to see Brenda (not her real name), a gal who had briefly been in my women's small group a few years ago. She was with her husband, and they had a reserved table with open seats. I introduced Laurel and as I'd hoped, she offered to let us sit there.  

"It's so funny to run into you here," I said. "Your name came up just a few weeks ago, I can't remember why." 

The opening act was playing, making further conversation difficult. Laurel and I had turned our chairs to see the stage. Then, like a punch in the gut, I remembered. Some friends had been talking about Brenda because her teenage son had gotten a girl pregnant. 

Flooded with embarrassment, I didn't know what to do. I honestly hadn't remembered that tidbit of gossip when I first saw Brenda, but of course she would have known what the topic of conversation must have been. I hadn't passed the information on to anyone, but what difference did that make when I had listened? Laurel didn't know any of this, and I wasn't about to clue her in. After the opening act was finished, we thanked Brenda and took our place on the floor.

To take my mind off my gaffe, I decided to get a beer. After all, Laurel's driving!  I waited in the line and bought a Michelob Ultra, then joined Laurel back on the floor. The Eli Young Band had other songs I wasn't familiar with. When they sang "Even if it Breaks Your Heart" I thought about my dreams of writing a book. Yes, keep on dreaming, but for how long? I'm 46! 

Eli Young Band plays The Cotillion in Wichita. September 10, 2014

"Crazy Girl" was the highlight of their lineup, the crowd favorite. Which was okay, but my feminist side bristles a bit when he calls her "Crazy Girl," and "Silly Woman." The end is a clever turn of phrase when he says, "I love you like crazy, girl." It almost redeems the song. Almost.

When the concert was over, I looked at the time and realized we could make Sonic's half price shakes. It was my birthday, after all, and we hadn't had dessert at the restaurant. Why couldn't we have all gone to dinner? I wondered. Why was Laurel tasked with taking me out, as if celebrating my birthday was some sort of chore, and she drew the short straw? The boys hadn't done anything!

When Laurel pulled into our driveway, I saw a light on in the kitchen. Walking in, I saw some balloons had been taped to our kitchen light fixture, and a bunch of Aldi flowers were stuck in a vase on the table. There was a cake that Dave had made from a mix--red velvet. Red velvet is our family's traditional birthday cake, but I always make it from scratch with the Waldorf-Astoria's recipe for seven-minute cooked frosting. Dave had probably gotten cream cheese frosting in a can.

Why hadn't Laurel steered me away from getting the Sonic shakes if she'd known the cake was waiting?

Caleb and Harrison were still up. Dave lit two candles (he probably hadn't found my stash of birthday candles and hadn't thought to buy any). Oh well, 46 candles was a lot, and really a waste of money.

They sang "Happy Birthday." I blew out my candles and looked up. I stopped short. The view was incredible. My husband and my three nearly adult children, all lined up across the table, looking at me with love. 

I knew I had to capture it. I grabbed my phone and snapped a photo of this one perfect moment.

Freeze Frame- I looked up from blowing my candles, and this is what I saw. My family, all looking at me with love. My glass was filled and overflowing. I knew even in that moment that I wanted to hold it forever.

 

Later that night, I replayed the events of my birthday in my mind. With my heart overflowing, I now saw the day differently. I had been complaining about my glass being half empty, when all that time I could have chosen to see it as half full.

Once again, with gratitude

My alarm clock woke me at 5:45 a.m. so I threw back the covers and walked down the short flight of steps to the kitchen and ground beans for a pot of coffee. I've gotten into such a good running groove, I thought. I'm so thankful that Kristen and I were able to run together for so long--six years! Our six-mile morning runs three times each week had been good for our fitness and our friendship. Recently her schedule had changed. I can do this on my own for a while, and maybe next semester we can figure out a new plan.

As the smell of coffee brewing wafted through the kitchen, I opened the front door to feel the air. My birthday (mid-September) is often when Kansas' hot and humid stretch of summer weather breaks into cool, refreshing mornings and I can start playing Neil Diamond's "September Morn" on repeat. The weather forecast had even said it was coming today. But not yet. Maybe during my run, I thought as I headed out the door.

With its mature trees, curving streets, gentle hills, and unique architecture, Benjamin Hills is a beautiful neighborhood to walk and run in, and I'd been doing it for more than 20 years. We'd moved to a new, larger house in the last year, but it was only four blocks from our old one. And now I was even closer to one of Wichita's best amenities--the bike path along the river. As I ran down the ramp to the edge of the water, I remembered shopping with Laurel last night. Dave was so sweet to suggest we go get new dresses for the concert tonight, I thought. I'm so glad Laurel found a dress. And I love how she can put outfits together. She'd found a camisole and a shrug for me that went with a knit skirt that I could wear with my cowboy boots. 

I thought of my upcoming hysterectomy, set for November 14. It looked like our insurance would cover most of it, and we'd saved enough to cover my portion. Thank you, Lord. The fibroids in my uterus had made running during my period difficult. It would be nice to have it all taken away. Of course, I wasn't sure how soon I'd be able to get back to running after surgery. I looked along the river and spotted the heron I often saw. He took flight, skimming the water, stretching his long wings, then settled a little farther down the bank, his body morphing back into the compact sitting position. Amazing. I hope I'll be back running before too long; I'll miss this.

I'll have about two weeks of down time, I remembered the doctor saying. My recovery will be a good opportunity to get started on QuickBooks and enter all of our customer information. Our friend Dave from No Worry Lawn Care said his wife uses that software for their business and kindly offered any help I needed.

By the time I got back home from my run, Dave and Caleb were up and ready to get mowing. Having Caleb helping us was a treat. He'd graduated high school and was awaiting orders with the U. S. Air Force. In the meantime, he was taking a psychology class at Butler but helping us on the days he didn't have class. Soon he would get his date and be off to basic training. Time with him was precious. Plus, when he was around, I never had to help Dave lift heavy bags of grass into the truck. 

As I was mowing the back yard of the third house on our route, I felt the wind pick up and the temperature drop about 20 degrees. The cool front! Now this is the September Morn worthy of Neil Diamond's song. And it came on my birthday! 

I was 46 today, I've lived 30 more years than my cousin Cheryl, I thought. She'd died after a single-car accident on a gravel road near her home in Nebraska when she was 16. I was 15 at the time, and our older sisters (who shared May 28 as their birthday), were freshmen at Tabor College. Cheryl had just returned from a youth conference and had shared her testimony, challenging other students to make sure they had accepted Jesus as their savior. Lord, thank you for these years you've given me. I know none are guaranteed. Help me make the most of them, I prayed.

Around noon we were finished with our lawns on Coolidge, and Dave parked the truck at Great Wall. "Are we having lunch here?" I asked?

"It's your birthday!" Dave said.

It had been a while since we'd stopped there for lunch on our Wednesday route, so the cashew chicken, which was fresh and piping hot, tasted extra good. I ate half, then put the clear lid over the foil takeout pan and crimped the edges.

We finished mowing early in the afternoon. I spent some time going through invoices, marking off the ones that had been paid. I was looking forward to streamlining our business with QuickBooks. God had been faithful to provide customers and work. We'd been supporting our family with it for over a decade. Dave was good with the customers and making the lawns look great, and I liked working outside with him. I'd done the marketing for our business and had gradually taken over more of the bookkeeping.    

By this time Harrison and Laurel were home from North High, and it was time to shower and get ready. I was putting on makeup in the bathroom, and Laurel was at her dresser in her room across the landing, but we could check on each other's progress and talk about our upcoming evening. It was times like this that made me so thankful I had a daughter.

To commemorate this event, we needed a photo session. We enlisted Dave as our photographer and took several poses. The lighting was good, and the weather a perfect late summer evening. The large potted mum my sister-in-law, Julie, had brought by earlier for my birthday gave a promise of autumn.

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For dinner, Laurel drove us to Larkspur Bistro and Bar, one of my very favorite places. It felt a little surreal to have my daughter escorting me to dinner, but also nice. 

We arrived at the restaurant in plenty of time. I ordered the shrimp linguine. While we were waiting for our waiter to deliver the hot, rustic bread to dip in olive oil and spices (yum!) I asked Laurel if I could take her picture. She looked so cute with her blonde hair curled and her braces. 

Laurel with her iPhone, age 14

The concert we were headed to was the Eli Young Band. A few summers before my favorite song on the radio was "Even if it Breaks Your Heart." I loved the lyrics describing the creative process and the message to "keep on dreaming." 

Last August I'd taken Laurel to see her favorite, Taylor Swift, when she came to Intrust Bank Arena on her Red Tour, so when Laurel learned my favorite would be in Wichita playing at the Cotillion on my birthday, she insisted we go. Dave and I had been to Zoobilee (the zoo's annual big fundraising event) on Saturday with some friends, so he and I had already celebrated my birthday. I'm having a festival! I thought.

We had been inside the Cotillion for a few minutes, scanning the assembling crowd when I saw Brenda. She graciously offered us their open seats. I said we would just need them for a little while. 

"It's so funny to run into you here," I said. "Your name came up just a few weeks ago, I can't remember why." 

As the opening act was playing, I remembered Brenda's teenage son had gotten a girl pregnant. 

Oh Lord, I really messed up there, I prayed. Please show me how I can make it right. I want to apologize, but I'm not sure here at this loud concert or tonight is even the right place or time. I think I have her address, maybe I can send a card. I can't imagine what she's going through right now. This is not what they had hoped and planned for their son. Still, maybe I could remind her that You have a way of making all things work together for good, even though we can't see it at the time. I could mention a friend who was a "grandma before her time" that was so blessed with her grandchild. Or another friend from church who had been the daughter of a teenage mom who had a super-special relationship with her Grandma. Maybe I can even invite her to our new women's group, in case she needs friends who will listen and give her a soft place to land. Please let me show your love to her. And help me to not obsess about this tonight, I don't want to ruin Laurel's and my time together.

After the opening act was finished, we thanked Brenda and took our place on the floor.

The Eli Young Band had songs I wasn't familiar with, but they had a good sound and it was a good crowd. It was so much fun being there on a mother-daughter date with Laurel. "Even if it Breaks Your Heart" sounded as good as on the radio. I thought about my dreams of writing a book. I'd edited the church newsletter for a dozen years and loved when I could interview members for longer narratives, but that chapter had ended. Lord, please show me my next steps, I prayed.

Eli Young Band plays The Cotillion in Wichita. September 10, 2014

"Crazy Girl" was the highlight of their lineup, the crowd favorite. I was amused at several women who obviously felt like the lyrics had been written just for them. You go, crazy girls!

When the concert was over, I looked at the time and realized we could still make Sonic's half price shakes. It was my birthday, after all. And maybe I could tell Laurel about my blunder with Brenda, and my plan to make it right and maybe even re-kindle a friendship.

When Laurel pulled into our driveway, I saw a light on in the kitchen and it was decorated with balloons and a fresh bouquet of flowers! Dave had baked a cake--red velvet, our family's traditional birthday cake and he had put it on the beautiful glass cake stand I'd inherited from his mother. 

Caleb and Harrison were still up. Dave even had candles! They must have gone to Aldi just as soon as we'd turned the corner!

"Laurel, did you know this was happening?" I asked. She giggled and said yes.

"You guys completely surprised me!" I said. "I had no idea. Laurel even let me get Sonic shakes and didn't end up spilling the beans!" We all laughed.

Dave baked a red velvet cake for me.

They sang "Happy Birthday," and I felt my birthday was complete. I blew out my candles and looked up. The view was incredible. My husband and my three nearly adult children, all lined up across the table, looking at me with love.

I knew I had to capture this moment. I grabbed my phone and snapped a photo of this one perfect moment. Because I was so grateful for these blessings in my life, and I didn't want to take them for granted, and I didn't want to ever forget.

Freeze Frame- I looked up from blowing my candles, and this is what I saw. My family, all looking at me with love. My glass was filled and overflowing. I knew even in that moment that I wanted to hold it forever. Harrison, 16, Caleb, 18, Dave, 47, and Laurel, 14. Our dog, Odie, was one year old.