I may have skipped some steps.
Lysa used Psalm 51 as a model for how we are to handle things when we screw up. King David wrote the psalm after committing adultery with Bathsheba and ordering her husband's murder, so we know it can cover some serious sins. (I know all sins are serious).
I found it interesting that the psalm has notes "for the director of music," as many psalms do. The psalm was intended to be used for a communal experience of confession within the faith community.
The new testament contains a verse that talks about just that: James 5:16 "Confess you sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed."
Confessing your failings to others is difficult and uncomfortable, but that last line is why we put ourselves through it, to reach the ultimate goal--healing!
David's psalm starts by asking for mercy, and continues with his confession: "For I know my transgressions and my sin is always before me." Nathan the prophet had to bring the whole sordid mess to David's attention, but finally David admitted his wrongs, and he fully admits his guilt to God.
He then asks for cleansing: "Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow." Lysa pointed out that right before the exodus the Children of Israel used hyssop as a paintbrush, to paint blood from a sacrificed lamb on the doorposts so the angel of death would pass over their house.
After cleansing, David asks God to create something new: "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." A friend in another group once pointed out that David is asking God to create a whole new heart, not just a remodel of the old.
Then, amazingly, David asks for a calling: "Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you." After he has learned his lessons well, he intends to encourage others who have messed up to get back on track as well. I find this both bold and hopeful.
So where does this leave me? With my 20/20 hindsight, I would say that Noah's unknowing offer of grace should have encouraged me to confess my slipup to my group and our Sunday School coordinator. And maybe it did, it just took me two years.
So I would say I should have confessed in a TIMELY manner. That way my group could hold me accountable to make sure something similar didn't happen again. Sometimes we even call them "accountability groups" because that's one of their functions.
That reminds me of what River Community's pastor, Terry Williams always said. "When you mess up, 'fess up, don't slide and hide."
So after confessing, I needed to ask God for cleansing (which I did). I want Him to wipe my slate clean. David asked God to blot out all his iniquity.
I don't think I've ever asked God to create me a completely new heart, but it sounds like a good deal. Well, maybe I have. "Create in me a clean heart" was one of my favorite songs in the late 80s and early 90s. I can still hear Keith Green singing it.
"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." David knew that sometimes things get hard to maintain over the long haul, so he went ahead and asked for a willing spirit up front. Good idea.
David ends his psalm by saying "Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise."
My equivalent would be, "Move my fingers, and my blog will declare your praise." May it be so.
